My last blog post I wrote I talked about my Champion/Warrior role that I have in my life. As I continue to navigate through this role I learn so much. Believe me, this role surfaces all the time in any tough situation I face.
The great thing is, I can now control it more. Instead of it taking over, I can decide HOW MUCH I want it to be there and when to stop it.
Here is an example. My husband got a full knee replacement on April 16th. We had high hopes of him driving in two weeks and being back to work in four. All of this because a colleague of his was driving in two weeks and working in four after his knee replacement. Well, as we know, every surgery and body is different. My mother-in-law was here for the first two weeks helping out and my Mom who lives near us has been helping out as well, however, I was taking care of the day in/day out stuff. Not only working full time, shuffling kids to after school activities, two different soccer game schedules on weekends, cooking dinner, cleaning dishes, bills, bedtimes, grocery story, laundry, cleaning, and the list goes on and on.
You are probably wondering how I did this..YEP…you guessed it…
The Champion/Warrior Role of course!! This is the perfect time for it to come out to help.
The only difference is now I know how to manage it. I know when to stop it and when I need to focus on myself.
Four weeks into recovery, my son had his cub scout campout. Husband is the den leader and was ready to go however he had a meeting he wanted to drive to (2 hours a way) the morning of and expected to be back before the cub scout campout. He also had to get packed, get our son packed and get to the store to buy food for the campout. That morning my son had a soccer tournament, a total of three games and his 8th birthday party was the Friday night before all of this. So needless to say we had very little time and lots of stuff going on. When my husband mentioned about going to this meeting, I calmly listened to his reasoning and why he wanted to go. Then I shared what I had to say and here it is….
Take note..this is where I stopped the Champion/Warrior Role from taking over and I took charge.
Normally this role would say something like, “Ok, I’ll go to the store for you Saturday morning before the soccer games while you are at your meeting.” Well, I had to reflect on how I was feeling. I had to stop and think about where I was at. Did I have it in me to do ONE MORE THING…..NOPE…I did NOT!! So I said, “If you want to go to the meeting that is fine, however I am completely TAPPED out. I can’t do one more thing so you will NEED to get packed up on Friday and go to the store to get everything you need for the campout. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to you or our son to be rushing around Saturday afternoon to get ready, get to the store and be there on time.”
BAM!!! I DID IT!!!! That was HUGE for me to say! I controlled that Champion/Warrior Role. It DID NOT control me. I truly reflected on myself and realized I had nothing left to give in that moment and put up a stance. It felt SOOOOOO GOOD to stick up for myself and communicate where I was and how I was feeling.
Are you wondering what happened?
My husband was very receptive and open to what I said. He understood and Friday he did all the shopping he had to do and guess what? He DIDN’T even go to that darn meeting. Ha! After all of that..yet it was a blessing to me so that I could practice controlling this role.
When we are in the habit of self-care we can be more in tuned to what kinds of things fill our soul and serve us, and what doesn’t. Being conscious of this, allows us to make decisions that are best for us and NO this isn’t selfish at all! It is being more SELF-COMPASSIONATE!
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