All parents have these moments, when we realize we aren’t being our BEST as a parent. We can be very hard on ourselves, ignore it, or learn from it and make some changes.
The most recent one for me was with my son. We were getting ready for school one morning and he started yelling at his sister and I and blaming us because he couldn’t find his homework. I was so ANGRY that I yelled back. When I yell, I don’t scream, but my voice does get much louder. This of course brought on the tears.
When he found his homework, (it was in his backpack where I asked him to put it the day before), I pretty much laid into him telling him he is NOT allowed to talk to any of us that way.
As we went to school, we were calmer yet it DIDN’T FEEL RIGHT because we really hadn’t CLOSED OUT the situation and discuss our MISTAKES to LEARN from them.
THEN CAME NIGHT TIME.
We had a WONDERFUL night as my son was getting an AWARD in “Fairness” from the Town Council because he was nominated by his teacher. It was so WONDERFUL. We went to dinner to CELEBRATE. I started to notice a bit of back talking to his Grandma and poor behavior in the restaurant. I was upset that my child was behaving this way and shared with him we wouldn’t be going out to dinner for a while. This is where the TENSION started to BUILD.
Later, as he was getting ready for bed, he wanted to sleep in his sister’s room. I told him he couldn’t because he had been sick a couple days before and we had to wait to make sure he was much better.
WELL THAT DIDN’T GO OVER WELL AT ALL!
HE THREW A FIT!! He kept asking and asking and I kept saying, “Not tonight!”
While he was in his room, I decided to handle this DIFFERENTLY than the morning situation. I had to CHANGE the BEHAVIOR I demonstrated earlier.
I opened his door, sat on his bed and said, “This was a very tough night. Sometimes we have nights like these. Tomorrow will be better.” He was able to calm down a bit, discuss the situation while being less reactive and then put it to rest. This was such a BETTER way to handle the SITUATION. It wasn’t easy as I was FED up with it AND I knew I had to take the HIGHER road and do it DIFFERENTLY.
When we can REFLECT on how we handle situations that aren’t handled well, and make some CHANGES in our BEHAVIOR, it can help your child make some changes in his/her behavior.
Take the time to reflect so that your home can be more PEACEFUL and JOYFUL.
For more information on why yelling doesn’t work…check out this article: https://www.parents.com/health/healthy-happy-kids/a-parental-wake-up-call-yelling-doesnt-help/
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