A few nights ago we were having such a wonderful family night, then one event led to another and it turned into a TRAIN WRECK.
By the end of this all, a little boy was upset and crying, a Dad was mad, a mom was trying to mediate and a daughter was silent.
The conflict grew between 8 year old boy and Dad. We work so hard in NOT getting ANGRY, RAISING our voices and STAYING out of power struggles. Well as the little boy continued to yell Dad’s voice got LOUDER and he got ANGRIER.
When both of us are in a conflict with our kids, we try not to step in and undermine each other. However, it was time to just STOP the situation so everyone could take a BREAK.
The boy ran away crying his eyes out and I told my husband to go take a break somewhere. Now, as you can imagine, his emotions were so ELEVATED that it didn’t go over well.
But I STUCK MY GROUND because the situation was not going to go anywhere with two people in the state they were in.
So eventually Dad went to take a break. He left pretty mad. The little boy took his time to calm down, then I swooped in to continue with bed time.
Once he was calm, we, kids and I, laid in bed and cuddled while I read a book. This was still not the time to revisit what had just happened. That had to wait until tomorrow when everyone was calm.
Believe me, it WOULD be revisited as the boy’s behavior was completely inappropriate and he had to know. And his Dad definitely had some errors in the situation as well. The next day was between them.
When we can help mediate for each other that makes a huge difference. Even though in the moment, my husband was pissed at me feeling that I had undermined him, I still stood my ground. All I did was tell him to take a break as the situation wasn’t going to go anywhere at that time.
Once Dad was calm, he understood where I was coming from and was glad I stepped in.
I’m proud of taking a stand to stop the situation when I did to give everyone a break.
Anytime you feel you are getting angry and your emotion is getting elevated,
- Take that break.
- Exit the room
- Go on a quick walk
- Take 10 breaths
Whatever it is, it will make a difference. Once we are in the ELEVATED EMOTIONAL state we won’t get anywhere productive and it completely makes the situation worse.
Share with me what you do when you FEEL yourself becoming EMOTIONALLY ELEVATED. Can you STOP it before you BLOW YOUR TOP?
Living in DAILY JOY,
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