The “Champion/Warrior” Role! That was MY role! The one that put me in “rock” mode. I could take on anything and get through the toughest times. How do I know? It started when I was 14. My Dad was diagnosed with ALS. Actually, it really didn’t start till I was 16 when I understood what this dis-ease meant for my Dad and my family. This is when my “Champion/Warrior” persona was born(at the time I didn’t know this persona). If you met me during this time of my life you would have never known what was happening in my home life. I didn’t really “Hold it in”. I would cry when I needed to, yet, I did my social thing, played soccer, took care of my Dad. It was just my way of life.
As I continued to get older I noticed that anytime a tough situation came up that was uncontrollable, I would just take care of it, get through it, do my thing. At the time I felt good. I was happy, joyful, loved life.
Seven hours after my son was born, he was sent to Denver, 3 hours away to 3 surgeries, 30 days in the NICU, a year on a feeding tube, and 2 other hospital visits in his first year. Not only did I have a 3 year old and a newborn on a feeding tube take care of, but I pumped for 5 months until he could orally feed. During this time “Champion/Warrior” came back. I had my moments, my breakdowns, but I persevered and was a rock during this time. Again, I just did what I had to do.
A few years later my husband got a traveling job for the winter. He was home 5 days each month for 6 months. We had a kindergartner and a 3 year old. I was “single momming” it. Friends offered to help although I never took them up on it. I even told one person, “Thanks for offering but I won’t take you up on the help.” Why? Because I was a “Champion/Warrior”. I could handle it. I could be calm and do what I had to do to take care of the kids while Dad was away. I got this!
Five years later I hired a Purpose coach and during our work together and revisiting my past is when I discovered the “Champion/Warrior” persona. I was blown away once I truly reflected on this role in my life that pops up when needed. Why is this so imperative? I realized that in many ways this role doesn’t serve me. It doesn’t fulfill me. Why? What is missing when this role pops up? Self-Care!
Yep, that is what it is. In all of these situations where this role surfaced, I took care of who I needed to take care of. I got done what I needed to get done. But I completely sacrificed my own self-care. During these times I never even realized this. But since my studying of JOYFUL living I have realized that in order for us to live in a JOYFUL state self-care is a must!
What does it look like? It depends on the individual person. For me, it was truly starting with asking and receiving help. When someone offered, take them up on it or call someone up and ask them for a favor. Just by doing this I was amazed at how much more relaxed things became for me. Simple little things helped tremendously. For example; calling a friend up to have her drive my daughter to ski school since she was going in with her kids. Wow! Just freeing up that time was tremendous. Taking my Mom up on helping with kids after school instead of saying, I can handle it. Again, so much more freeing. That is where it started for me. Then it moved to truly taking time to focus on myself with meditation, writing gratitudes, getting to the gym, taking deep breaths when needed. These simple little things go a long way. Just by implementing these I have found myself becoming even more JOYFUL, relaxed, and calm which leads to a much more JOYFUL, calm and nurturing environment in my household.
It’s time for you to bring in more self-care into your life. It starts with YOU!
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